Dis Cover: Kylie Minogue – Tension II

When the Kylie Historian account posted a look at the Tension II cover and vinyl packaging on 18 September, everybody in the comments was saying that it was fake, and hoping that it was fake—because they were not a fan of how any of it looked. Then the next day, Kylie herself posted the very same cover. Fans dry heaved—with excitement of more Kylie so soon, and that the album cover they hated was actually the real deal.

Several fans have commented that the Tension II album cover and shoot looks like a cross between Light Years and Aphrodite, and I think that is very accurate.

I don’t completely dislike it. But I’m not a fan of some of the creative choices. I liked the diamond motif we had with Tension, so it’s a shame this wasn’t carried through into the cover for Tension II—despite there being a Tension II promo shot of Kylie and a big ass diamond, which would have made for a better album cover shot. I don’t like that the Kylie ECG style logo is off to the side and not centralised. I also don’t feel that we needed to have the II in the title on the cover, when Kylie on the swing is the II. Also, the shot itself looks really badly photoshopped.

Okay. So, I guess I completely dislike this album cover at all.

With Kylie Minogue’s last few of singles being collaborations, I was expecting a collaborations album. But we’re getting a whole new studio album which is a continuation of Tension. I’ve not liked any of the songs with Orville Peck, The Blessed Madonna, or that dusty re-hash of “Padam Padam” with Bebe Rexha and Tove Lo (PERIOD). So my expectations for Tension II aren’t exactly high, which I think is a good place for them to be. More room for me to be impressed by the songs I’ve not yet heard.

No “Heavenly Body” is a bit homophobic.

The songwriters Tension II make up a much bigger roster than Tension had. Writer of “Padam Padam” Ina Wrolsden has more songs to her name here (“Lights Camera Action”, “Taboo”, “Hello” and “My Oh My”) than she did on Tension. But Biff Stannard and Duck Blackwell—who accounted for seven out of the eleven songs on Tension (and its standout bonus tracks “Somebody to Love” and “Heavenly Body”)—are only credited for one song here (“Shoulda Left Ya”). So let’s see how this turns out as a result.

Kylie also announced that there will be a Tension Tour, much to the surprise of fans. I tried to get tickets and had no luck. So kudos to those of you who logged into Ticketmaster on the personal phone, work phone, tablet, laptop, Nintendo DS and smart fridge to secure your tickets.

Tension II releases on 18 October 2024. And I’m sure that just like Tension, Kylie will be releasing a different variant of this album every week, with each version having an ugly re-coloured cover.