Jeff Ames
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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, the swan song for the iconic archaeologist, landed in theaters last week with a resounding thud. Audiences mostly shunned it, and critics were unkind. The online debate centers on whether the fifth film in the popular Indiana Jones saga surpasses Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — but is that debate worth having?
What caused this latest LucasFilm release to stumble? Just a year ago, another long-dormant franchise, Top Gun: Maverick, soared to incredible box office heights, and Indy seemed poised to follow suit. Competent director? Check. Harrison Ford? Check. Action? Check. John Williams’ score? Check.
Then the film hit, and it underwhelmed.
The first half is good, with a few reasonably well-executed action scenes and an aging Indy navigating a world that no longer cares about him. There was an opportunity here to do something extraordinary, to delve into the psyche of a man who has experienced it all. Who else can claim to have held the Holy Grail and lived to tell the tale?
But that’s the issue — Dial of Destiny isn’t terrible. It’s merely okay. Mangold and his team of screenwriters take a few bold swings in the third act but mostly adhere to the tried-and-true Indy formula. However, after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, formulaic isn’t what Indiana Jones needed. Dial of Destiny required a more ambitious hook to convince audiences to spend their hard-earned money on yet another adventure with the weathered hero.
Indiana Jones 5 needed Short Round.
Imagine the trailer: We catch a glimpse of a hat-wearing silhouette. He fights like Indy, looks like Indy, but then the big reveal — it’s not Indy. It’s an older Short Round, portrayed by Academy Award winner Ke Huy Quan. Shorty’s latest adventure has spun out of control as he pursues a rare artifact, desperate to deliver it to a ruthless crime lord and settle a debt. In his desperation, he turns to his old friend Indiana Jones, who reluctantly dons the hat and jacket for one last time to aid his former sidekick.
The film could explore their strained relationship while delving into Short Round’s experiences during WWII. He still idolizes Indy but gradually realizes he must forge his own path, setting the stage for his own thrilling adventures. Moreover, they discover the object is more dangerous than imagined, leading them on a quest to prevent the villains from obtaining it.
Admittedly, it’s a work in progress, but you get the idea.
Despite Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s talent, Helena Shaw failed to captivate audiences. While the actress gave a solid performance, her character was essentially a derivative version of Indiana Jones with a sleazier edge. Does anyone other than Kathleen Kennedy want to see more of her?
The plot was also surprisingly bland, with Mads Mikkelsen’s Dr. Voller seeking to go back in time to stop Adolf Hitler from losing WWII. Only, he’s not in any real hurry, and just sort of shows up when an action scene is required to push things along.
Although Ford remains lovable as Indiana Jones, his grumpy old man schtick has grown tiresome. Indiana Jones 5 doesn’t give him much to do other than bark dry exposition and never fully justifies his part in the story. He bumbles along, gets his ass kicked, and then nearly destroys the space-time continuum because he randomly desires to remain in Ancient Rome. Essentially, the film robs him of the happy ending he enjoyed at the conclusion of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, thrusts him into another journey, and … returns him to where we left him at the end of Crystal Skull, minus one Mutt.
Sure, the ending is cute, but Top Gun: Maverick didn’t gross $1.5 billion at the box office by being cute. While that film stuck to the formula established by its predecessor, Cruise still wowed audiences with jaw-dropping action, a rousing tone, and a colorful cast of memorable characters. In other words, it was fun, energetic, and thrilling — and it cost half as much as Dial of Destiny to produce!
All this to say, Indy’s latest adventure needed a stronger hook to succeed at the box office. Pairing Indy with Short Round would have been an easy slam dunk. Who wouldn’t rush to theaters to catch that film on opening day? Heck, who wouldn’t want to see more adventures with Shorty in the future?
The Adventures of Short Round? Bring it on.
Of course, few could have predicted the fame that actor Ke Huy Quan would achieve over the past year. Thanks to his incredible performance in Everything Everywhere All at Once, he’s no longer just the kid from Temple of Doom and The Goonies. He’s now a bona fide star worthy of greater things. Perhaps he would have turned down the chance to revisit a role he recently moved away from, or maybe he would have eagerly leaped at the opportunity to star alongside Harrison Ford — a man he clearly admires. Who knows?
Without a doubt, Short Round would have injected new life into Indy and potentially resulted in another classic entry in the beloved franchise. At the very least, his presence alone would have ensured a stronger opening weekend and given fans a new hero to root for.